


A Future Earned

by CCBug



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCBug/pseuds/CCBug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Kate Shepard has destroyed the Reapers and the galaxy is safe once more. But as those left behind struggle to put their lives back together, the ones closest to her soon learn that their Shepard is not lost after all. If she can survive her injuries, then she and her crew have a future to chase, and the consequences of her choices now shape them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**I just want to take a second and explain a few basics here. My Shepard was a Paragon, saved Wrex, destroyed the Collector base and cured the Genophage. The groups present when the push to retake Earth was made included the Geth, Quarians, Krogan, Asari, Turian, some Salarian, and of course, the Alliance.**

**I chose the Destroy option and was thrilled to be able to reach the 'perfect' ending, meaning that my Shepard was shown drawing a breath in the infamous cut scene at the close of the game. It's from that point the story will begin.**

**I'm approaching the destruction/damage to the relays and end of synthetic life from the perspective that a majority of technology would still be completely functional. It's from this viewpoint that I will be writing this story.**

**Thanks!**

**After**

Admiral Hackett sat in his briefing room, exhausted. It'd been seven hours since the Crucible had engaged and the Reapers had been defeated. Or so they hoped. Reports were still pouring in, their volume increasing as his ship approached the Sol system.

The mass relays were currently inoperable, though it was still unknown if this was temporary or not. Hackett's star ship was one of many the Alliance had outfitted with an FTL drive, so, while his return to Earth would take hours longer than normal, he would at least be able to do so soon.

The jump coordinates for each part of the united fleet had differed for safety's sake. Common sense dictated that the immense war party depart the system when the Crucible was active, its powers not fully understood. Should the weapon have failed, their jump increased their odds of surviving, and so they'd separated and dispersed to different locations.

Contact with a majority of the more distant ships had not yet been reestablished, but Hackett didn't find this alarming. Given the condition of the communication relays in the Sol system and the other heavily occupied systems, it was a miracle that communication occurred at all.

He'd left orders with the remaining Hammer units to secure the Citadel as soon as possible, assuming it hadn't been destroyed when the Crucible discharged. Data seemed to indicate, though reports were still very contradictory, that the Citadel was intact and in low orbit over Earth.

A shuttle flight to the moon took less than an hour, and the Citadel was in even closer proximity. If the information was accurate, and the massive station was still there, it would be of critical priority to occupy it. This would be a crucial component to securing Sol, for until it was proven otherwise, Hackett would operate on the belief that the Reapers could return at any moment.

The helmsman announced through a ship-wide announcement that they'd crossed back into Sol, and Hackett smiled quietly at the resounding cheers that echoed throughout his ship. He also felt the same exhilaration as the crew, but instead of celebrating, he silently sorted the data pads he'd finished reading from those that still needed his attention, knowing that there would be a new wave of updates arriving.

Ten minutes later, the soft 'whoosh' of the briefing door was heard, and Hackett looked up to see his XO hurrying in, a pad held out as he approached.

"Sir!" he cried. "Sir! They've found her! They found Shepard!"

Hackett leapt to his feet and snatched the pad. "What's her status?"

"It's looks bad, sir, she may not survive her injuries, but for now, she's alive. Hammer team three located her about an hour after we made the jump," his XO explained. "They uh, they also located Admiral Anderson."

Hackett noted the change in the young man's tone. "Is David still with us?" he asked softly, dreading the answer he was certain was coming.

"No sir, I'm sorry, he isn't."

Hackett sighed, the pain at losing a career long friend stabbing at his heart. He sighed again, knowing the time for mourning was later. "Were they found together? Any ideas of what happened there?"

"It doesn't say, sir. But the data stream is nearly clogged with the incoming reports," the man explained. "So we're sure to learn more as we complete our approach."

"Tell the helm to make orbit over Earth, rather than Luna. I'll take a shuttle down to London. Have you got an ETA?"

"Three hours, sir."

Hackett nodded. "Where are they treating her?"

"One report states London, but a newer one has her in Reykjavik. I'll get you that as soon as I can confirm."

"Good. That'll be our first stop, seeing Shepard. I'll want a report from her medical team," the admiral stated. "Then we can make our way to London. Keep me posted."

"Yes, sir."

"And Thomas? Send word to the _Normandy_ ," Hackett ordered. "It'll take a day or so for them to get the news, assuming they're at their coordinates, but make sure they get the word. And forward any reports about her condition directly onto Major Alenko's private email, he'll want to know everything he can, as they come in."

"Absolutely sir, I'll do so immediately."

The door closed behind the departing XO and Hackett sat back down.

"I'll be damned, Shepard," he muttered. "You made it."

He shook his head, astonished at the news. Her survival would be a huge boost to all of humanity's spirit, assuming she stayed alive and recovered. Picking up the newest data pad, he felt more eager than ever to learn all he could of what had happened to his home.

**xXx**

Three weeks passed before the _Normandy_ was ready for flight.

Short distance communication was working again, and the Alliance ships orbiting their location had begun to forward the massive amounts of data the _Normandy_ hadn't received while its systems were down. Traynor was working closely with Garrus and Tali to sort the information; a 'triage' system was how they described their plan of organization to Kaidan.

Prior to the assault on Sol, Admiral Hackett had ordered that all Alliance vessels return to Earth as soon as the success of the Crucible could be confirmed. The Normandy had suffered tremendous damage with the loss of EDI and even the most basic of systems had been affected.

Communication between the _Normandy_ and other ships within close proximity had been established on the first day she'd been grounded. Hundreds of crew hours had been logged on repairs since, and the work was still far from completed.

Normandy made her last jump through the relay to the pre-arranged coordinates, along with the seventy ships that weren't entirely made up of Alliance military, a mixture of Turian and Geth vessels joining them.

The Turian ships had already begun their long journey back to their own space. None of the Geth ships had survived and it seemed that whatever the Crucible had done to the synthetic Reapers – and EDI - had also destroyed their newest allies.

Reports had been slow in reaching the undamaged vessels orbiting their location. It was only the confirmation that the Reapers were gone that allowed the Normandy's commanding officers to consider leaving the safe haven of the jungle planet they'd made their emergency landing on.

Since then, the new CO, Major Alenko, had verified that the relays were damaged and inoperable, and that the Citadel, while still in orbit above Earth, was in much the same condition as the relays it had overseen.

Nothing received appeared to contain any information on Commander Shepard and the crew struggled to accept the most likely scenario regarding their leader's fate. It was a cloud over them all, knowing that she'd died saving them all from the Reapers.

The FTL drive had been rerouted as well as it could be without entering dry dock. Engineer Adams had created a complex system able to compensate for EDI's loss. It would take approximately eleven days at the engine's fastest obtainable speed to return to the outer rim of Alliance space.

But before the close-knit crew returned to Sol, before their ship was ordered into dry dock and they were reassigned, the crew that had become a family under their lost Shepard had one final task to make ready for their journey home.

Gathered together, and standing at the memorial wall outside the crew's quarters, Admiral David Anderson's name was slid into place with great reverence. His name was added to the other heroes and friends lost to this war and many offered a small story or thought on the popular leader.

Kaidan Alenko took a deep breath and stepped forward again, this time, the placard to be hung for Commander Katherine Shepard. Clutching it in his hand, he lovingly gazed at her name, tears hot in his eyes as he ran his hand over her name.

He could sense the others behind him watching, waiting, and, with a ragged sigh, his breath jerking in his chest, he prayed for the strength to place it. Lifting the placard, he again paused, his eyes locked with the slot it was intended for, but still he couldn't make himself insert her name.

"Kaidan?" prompted Liara quietly from beside him. "We don't have to put it up now. It can wait until you're ready."

Kaidan shook his head. "No, everyone's here," he said softly. "I just…"

"To be honest, Major, I'm not ready to see her name up there just yet," James announced. "I'm not willing to admit defeat."

"The Citadel was practically destroyed," Kaidan replied, his voice hoarse.

"No, the Citadel is busted all to hell, but it _wasn't_ destroyed," Joker reminded him. "Not that _that_ matters, though. Shit, I watched her get sucked into space and die a fiery death, only to have her standing in front of me two years later, like it never happened. You'd have thought she'd skinned her knee, not _died_."

"We need to do this while we're all together," the major rasped. "She'd want us to."

"I don't know about that, Alenko, Shepard was rather fond of living," Garrus countered. "The very last thing she wanted was to die; she said she'd done it before, and had found it pretty damned boring."

Kaidan snorted, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. "I can just hear her saying that," he began before he turned and stared at them. "I know she wanted to live, we wanted more time, a life, you know? God knows I wish…I wish…"

Liara placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Let's apply logic. We know Anderson died because their comms were still active at the time, and we heard their conversation with the Illusive Man. Shepard was still talking to Hackett _after_ Anderson died, _well_ after, and her signal cut out mid-sentence, which could be for a number of other reasons."

"Not to mention _somebody_ turned that thing on," James noted. "And the Crucible didn't fire for a good, what, like ten minutes after we heard the last message from her?"

Liara shrugged. "As we don't know the full extent of what happened, perhaps putting her name up _is_ premature. Let us be honest, it _is_ Shepard, after all. If there's even the slightest chance of surviving such a thing, she's the only person I know who would have found a way."

"Don't put it up, sir!" called Gabby. "Give her a chance!"

"Yes, I'm with Gabby, sir! We should wait!" called a weapons officer. A few cheers were shouted.

James spoke up next. "Let's wait to hear for sure, Major! God knows, she's beaten every other damned odd!"

Garrus's mandibles flexed. "The lieutenant makes a good point, Kaidan. I say, it stays down until we _have_ to put it up."

Kaidan looked to each face and smiled slightly. "She'd want to do what's best for morale, for each of you. So, okay, what do you, her crew, want to do?"

"Keep it down!"

"We'll wait, sir, to find out!"

The crew and officers quickly relayed their consensus, and Kaidan stepped away from the wall, the placard tight in his grasp.

Traynor waited until the others had fallen quiet before she stepped forward. "Sir, I think it's pretty clear we'd all like to wait. What's the harm?"

"Okay," he said. "Okay, we'll wait. She'd have been..." he realized he was speaking of her in the past tense and cleared his throat. "She's lucky to have all of you believing in her."

Kaidan squared his shoulders and turned back to the wall, his eyes focusing on David Anderson's name, a sigh of relief released from his chest. "Not today, Kate," he whispered to himself.

Garrus, seeing Shepard's lover struggling, looked to keep the group's focus away from him, and turned to their pilot. "Joker? Did you ever tell Traynor about the time Anderson punched Udina's lights out?"

"What? No!" Traynor exclaimed, turning to the Turian and pilot with a grin. "Joker! You've been holding out! Do tell!"

"Let's go to the mess, we can all swap a few stories," Garrus suggested, and, as they all filed past, the turian placed a reassuring hand on Alenko's shoulder, before following the others around the corner.

Kaidan watched his crew move by, nodding or greeting those who met his eyes or spoke his name, but didn't follow.

 _His crew,_ he thought sadly, his practiced smile slipping once he was alone.

Thinking of her again, he took advantage of everyone's distraction and returned to the war room, where the cash-load of reports from Sol and the fleet were still being downloaded. To his surprise, he spotted Javik standing at the center console, his eyes gazing at the holographic image of the Crucible.

"So it is clear," the Prothean began, "that your people have succeeded where mine failed. I am most pleased to have witnessed the end of the Reapers."

"Without your people's warnings and knowledge, none of this would have been possible," Kaidan replied evenly. "That doesn't sound like failure to me."

"Perhaps not," he said. "The commander told me to think of it as a delayed victory, one still firmly belonging to the Protheans. She was concerned that I viewed the sacrifices my people had made had been done so in vain."

"Sounds like her," Kaidan said. "So, was she right? Do you believe your people's deaths were in vain?"

"Not any longer. Now they are all at rest, and I will soon join them," Javik answered. "Is your ceremony over?

"It is."

"For what it is worth, I am sorry, Major, that the commander went before me. I know you were joined with her. She was a bold warrior, and she will be honored in the ages to come."

Kaidan gaped for a moment and recovered his shock at the normally aloof man's kind words. "Thank you," he replied slowly. "I'm still hoping she's alive, to be honest."

The large man nodded once. "She has defeated death in the past," he agreed. "While I do not believe it is likely she has done so again, I will not try to dissuade you from your hope."

Kaidan looked down at his boots. "Thanks, Javik," he murmured and stepped closer to the console, eager to end their awkward conversation.

"Major?" Javik asked. "The commander and I spoke before the _Normandy_ arrived in Sol, and I asked her for what did she fight. You should know her answer was for you, and for your friends. She desired a future with you. She had hope for more time, for life."

Kaidan stared intensely at the display screen, words and questions caught behind the lump in his throat, and he nodded once, unable to speak.

"I have distracted you from your duties, my apologies. You have my sympathy, Major. You all do."

**xXx**

She could hear voices sometimes, but their words were jumbled and held little meaning for her.

The fog she'd been lost in tried to lure her to sleep, to ignore them, but she never did. She strained and struggled to hear what was being said, and she tried to awaken, but the voices would grow silent before she could understand, before she could pull free.

She worried, uncertain of what had happened to her, to everyone. She'd made her decision, had felt the heat of its fire, and had clearly heard the words of the woman who had made the intense pain she felt everywhere finally stop. It still roared back, the ferocity of it so intense she wailed, but she didn't fight it.

If she hurt, then she knew wasn't dead.

When the fog was thinner, she could remember things. She could wonder if her choice had been the best for the people the memories were of, if they were safe, and more urgently she worried that _he_ was safe.

She could smell things, all manner of things. She could smell soap and detergent, the different odors of people near her. It occurred to her she was being taken care of, and that, too, helped her to know she was alive.

Today the fog was harder to fight, and she couldn't understand what was happening, but she was sure she could hear Admiral Hackett. It made her wish she could open her eyes. But she hadn't been able to, despite all her effort; the fog was pulling her back under.

And finally, exhausted from resisting its draw, she slipped back down and slept.

_**Thank you to Lisa, for being willing to beta yet another story for me, despite not being familiar with the Mass Effect universe. Thanks to Liso66 for double checking the canon is true and for her help in characterizations. I'm very grateful to each of you for your help.** _

_**Thanks for reading!** _


	2. Hope

**Hope**

The Normandy was three days into her flight to the Sol system and Tali, Traynor, and Joker were sorting the stacks of data pads. They'd overseen the initial downloads, and then, realizing the sheer volume of information was far more than they could handle, had recruited all non-essential crew to upload each report to the pads.

Most pads now had multiple reports on them, making it almost impossible to ensure everything had been reviewed.

Once they were in flight, the streams of current Alliance reports had become endless. Real-time information was being pulled again, and the crew could only sort the older information by date and sender, hoping to allow the officers enough time to pick through them all.

Garrus entered the briefing room, his arms full of pads. "Here's what's been wiped. Where do you want them?"

Tali gestured to an empty corner of the room. "Just put them in that corner, and thanks."

"It's insane how much of this is just crap," Joker commented. "I mean, who freakin' _spams_ people during a massive battle? Who gives a shit about your karma for not forwarding something when you've got a giant Reaper coming out of orbit!"

Garrus chuckled but Traynor replied. "I don't know, that might be a good time to _not_ have bad karma. You might have been less likely to get turned into a husk, you never know."

"You've got a point there, Specialist," Garrus laughed. "Could have made all the difference in the world."

"Whatever, man. If Harbinger comes a callin', you're screwed whether you're an asshole or not," Joker said. "I mean, no amount of karma in the galaxy…"

"Oh my God," Traynor exclaimed, jumping to her feet. She furiously read the data pad as Garrus and Joker exchanged confused looks. " _Oh my God_!"

"Traynor, what the hell is it?" Joker demanded.

Garrus stood up and looked over her shoulder, his mandibles tightening as he read the report in her hand. "Go get Alenko, now!" he ordered, taking the pad from her hand as she ran from the room.

The Turian looked from the pad to Joker, and grinned. "It's from Hackett's XO, Joker," he explained. "She's alive, Shepard is alive!"

"Hell, yes she is!" Joker yelled, pumping his fist in the air. "Holy shit! Holy shit!"

"Ke'lah! How? Where is she?" Tali asked.

The door behind them swished open and Alenko ran in, Traynor on his heels. "What's going on? Traynor said it's urgent."

"Read for yourself, Kaidan," Garrus replied, passing the pad to him.

Kaidan's eyes skimmed the report and then came to an abrupt halt. "Oh my God, Kate," he breathed, staggering back a step. He felt waves of joy wash over him, and he began to laugh. "She…she _made_ it!"

"Where? What happened to her?" Tali repeated.

"It says a Hammer team found her on the Citadel! She's critical, but she's _alive_!" he said quickly before reading the rest of the pad. "Specialist! There's another report that was sent to my private account, it says it should have more details!"

"Right here!" Traynor declared, pulling a large stack of pads toward her. "This is your personal correspondence, sir. It should be in here somewhere, assuming we've downloaded it. Who's the sender?"

"Staff Lieutenant Wiggins," Garrus replied.

Kaidan and the others grabbed from the pile and skimmed the basic information.

"Here it is!" Joker said, passing the pad to Kaidan. "Hurry up, man!"

Kaidan's eyes scanned the first few lines and his heart fell as he did. "It's bad," he whispered. "It's real bad. God damn it."

"Bad's better than dead," Joker countered. "Read it!"

Kaidan finished the brief report and blanched, his medic background cataloging the vast trauma Shepard had suffered. "It's a miracle, the shape she's in, I mean…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "It's…most people would be dead."

"The commander isn't 'most people'," Garrus said. "We all know that. What's she facing, Kaidan? How bad is bad?"

Kaidan cleared his throat and read the message from Hackett to the others.

_Major Alenko,_

_I wanted to personally let you know that Commander Shepard was rescued from the wreckage of the Citadel approximately two hours after the Crucible discharged. The details are still coming together, and my XO will forward any new information available to you as he receives it._

_I'm sending the medic's notes below, and will send more to you as I can. She's now being treated on the SSV Nightingale, but her physicians are very cautious about raising hope. In short, the injuries are severe. She's still got some fighting to do, but knowing Shepard, she'll beat the odds they've given her._

_Get back to the Sol system ASAP._

_A. Hackett_

"Is the report attached, sir?" Traynor hesitantly asked.

Kaidan touched the pad, and both the transcript and audio file from the responding medic appeared. "Yes," he muttered. "But it's just details of her injuries."

"Which are?" Joker asked. "Come on, Alenko!"

"I'll just play it, it's the audio from the response team," Kaidan said, and keyed up the file.

There was tremendous background noise, it was apparent the large Hammer squad was staying close together. A woman's voice came over the ruckus, and she could be heard excusing herself from the others. The background noise lessened and she cleared her throat.

" _Commander Katherine Shepard was located via her last known communicator coordinates, she was found approximately three hundred feet from the body of an unidentified human male, and that of Admiral David Anderson. Anderson appears to have died from an abdominal gunshot wound, the other male from a gunshot wound to the chest. I began treating Shepard at approximately 19:34 hours, current time is 19:58. Medical report is as follows."_

There was a pause as a man's voice interrupted the woman, who quickly answered his question, before she returned to the report.

" _Initial vitals found blood pressure fifty over thirty-three, temperature ninety-six point two,_ " the woman said in a detached tone. " _IV saline drip started, morphine pushed via drip. Multiple lacerations on all extremities, single puncture wound to the left lower abdominal quadrant, approximately four inches deep, with a shard of body armor lodged inside. Two medi-gel applied, wound then taped for surgeons."_

"Shit," Joker whispered.

" _Blood pressure indicates significant blood loss, in excess than her more obvious wounds should account for. Coagulant administered, and while clotting remains slow, blood pressure is gradually climbing. Third-degree burns on left side upper quadrant, on left shoulder and portions of her back. Her under-armor has melded with her skin."_

"Goddesses," whispered Liara, who had quietly joined them and was standing with Tali. "And yet she lives?"

Kaidan paused the recording and looked up at them all, blinking slowly before he nodded. "Yeah. There's more."

" _Right orbit maxillary bone broken, crushed nasal cartilage. Right eyeball appears to be ruptured. Left pupil blown, indicating a brain injury. Right wrist and right elbow broken, second and third fingers of right hand are missing, wounds appear to have been cauterized. Pause report."_

The recording was interrupted by the sounds of metal shifting and the woman giving quick directions to those around her.

" _She's as good as she's gonna get for now, let's move her before that bulkhead comes down!"_ Her voice drew closer to the microphone again, but her words were for her patient. " _Okay, Commander, if you can hear me, we're taking you home. Just hang on, we'll get you there. You're safe."_

The woman again issued a few orders and it was clear from the background noise the group was on the move. Voices in the background were barking out orders, and the blaring of multiple communicators was clearly heard. The woman continued, this time she was panting, and the cadence of rapid boot falls joined the noise.

" _Resume report. Patient is being evacuated via stabilizer backboard to shuttle and transported to closest facility, location still being determined, most likely the SSV Nightingale. Report filed by responding Flight Nurse Lieutenant Commander Nancy Helms, Hammer unit three. Report closed. Go! Let's go! It's coming down!"_

The recording ended with a tremendous crash and static, before cutting off. For several moments, everyone was quiet.

"She's tough," Garrus said, his tone falsely confident. "She'll make it, Kaidan."

Kaidan tucked the data pad into a cargo pocket and stood tall, clearing his throat. "Joker, get back to the helm, do what you can to trim our flight time, and send an acknowledgement to Hackett about Shepard. Tali, would you see if Engineer Adams could use your expertise? Garrus, calibrate…something, okay? We need to get home, she needs us."

"On it," Garrus said, leaving the room and passing through to security. Tali helped Joker up and together they left for their stations. Liara and Traynor were watching Kaidan and he gestured to the piles of pads.

"Let's get through these data pads," he ordered. "Hackett said he'd send on what he could. Let's find it."

"Yes, of course," Liara replied, moving to the other side of the table.

Traynor returned to her work, a huge smile on her face. "Major? I know she's in a bad way," she said, and Kaidan looked up. "But aren't you glad we waited to put up her placard?"

"Yeah, let's just hope it stays that way," he whispered, his mind pushing back at the dark thought. "Now let's get home."

**xXx**

Miranda Lawson was standing outside of the medical station in Reykjavik, looking up at the battered and blackened tower before her.

She was still hesitant when dealing with the Alliance. Her assistance on the Crucible had been mostly welcomed, but the people around her had still treated her with suspicion, not that she faulted them for that. Her time with Cerberus had ended, but like everything The Illusive Man had touched, there was a taint left on her for working with him.

But now her duties to the Crucible were over, and if the rumors swirling on the extranet were anywhere near the mark, then Commander Shepard had somehow survived, and, if this were true, she would need Miranda's help.

So, hesitant or not, Miranda was going into the building.

Oriana walked quietly beside her as they entered through the boarded-up glass doors, the hustle and bustle of the facility moving around them. Nurses and medics walked with purpose, and the sisters slowly meandered their way to an information desk, where Miranda cleared her throat to draw the attention of the young ensign who manned the desk.

He looked up and offered a practiced grin before stepping over to them. "Good morning. How may I help you?"

Miranda smiled in return. "Hello. My name is Miranda Lawson, and it's my understanding that you're treating Commander Shepard at this facility. If that's correct, then I have critical expertise that should be offered. Please call your commanding officer."

"Expertise, eh?" the man scoffed.

"Yes."

The ensign sniggered before he shook his head. "Sorry, ma'am, but there's no commander here. Have a nice day."

Oriana crossed her arms. "Really? You mean to tell me that in this _whole_ place, filled with military wounded, there's not one single commander?" she asked.

The man stood straight and frowned at both women. "Listen, Ms. uh, Lawson, was it? We're _not_ answering questions, so if that's all, we're very busy here, and it's best you leave."

"I didn't ask you a question," Miranda argued. "I offered to help."

"She's the one who led Project Lazarus for Cerberus, you know," Oriana supplied, to which Miranda barely suppressed a groan.

"You're with Cerberus?" the ensign snapped before he turned and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Guard!"

Miranda's eyes narrowed as she looked to see several guards approaching. "I'm _not_ with bloody Cerberus! I've been working on the Crucible with Admiral Hackett for the last six months, not that you'll care." She groaned in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Fine, call the goon squad over, and fetch your superior while you're at it."

The ensign shook his head. "Explain it to them, _Cerberus_."

"I will, you little prat," she said sourly and turned, holding her hands up defensively as the three guards arrived at her side. "Hello, my name is Miranda Lawson. I don't want any trouble, but there's been a misunderstanding. You'll need to call your OOD."

"She said she's with _Cerberus_ ," the ensign said quickly.

The guards visibly tensed, and several bystanders moved away.

"No, I _didn't_ say that, not in the least. But I did ask you to call your superior, which you've not done yet."

" _Are_ you with Cerberus?" A female soldier asked, looking between the ensign and Miranda.

"No, I'm not. I'm here to offer my aid, but as I said to the ensign here, I'll need to speak with someone a little higher up the chain of command. No offense."

"None taken, ma'am. Why don't we go to one of the back offices in admin, and we'll just ask a couple of questions."

"Of course," Miranda replied graciously, and gestured to her sister. "This is my sister, and I'd like her to come with us."

"Yes ma'am, but we will need to check your IDs and search you for weapons. Will you comply?"

"We will," Miranda said. "May I take out my identification?"

The soldier nodded and Miranda quickly displayed her ID, as did Oriana. The woman nodded, taking the cards as she plucked her communicator off of her shoulder piece. "One moment, please," she said to them, before turning to the other two guards with her. "Go ahead and take them back, I'll call this in and come join you. Search them, too."

A half-hour later, the guard met them in the back office, a tall man in a medical uniform entering behind her.

"Ms. Lawson?" the man began, as Miranda stood. "My name is Dr. Keith Ledeaux, and I'm the assistant to the chief of staff here," he explained. He turned to the three guards. "You're dismissed. Thank you."

"It's a pleasure, Doctor," she replied, shaking his offered hand as the guards quietly left the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Are you _the_ Miranda Lawson? You led the research and development of Project Lazarus?"

"I am and I did. Is Shepard here?"

Dr. Ledeaux nodded. "She is, but not officially."

"It may not be official, but the word's out there. She's got a lot of people hoping the Alliance will confirm it," Miranda said.

"I'd guess we'll announce it once she's out of danger."

She nodded. "Fair enough, folks need good news right now. It would be a horrible letdown if she didn't make it. Tell me, though, that someone's at least reached out to her crew? They're a very tight-knit group."

"So we've heard, but I couldn't say," Dr. Ledeaux admitted. "Admiral Hackett has been here, and continues to check her progress. Now, dare I hope you're here to help us?"

"Shepard's a good friend, so, absolutely, and in any way that I can. How is she?"

"Critical. She's in a medically induced coma, has severe burns as well as brain trauma. The swelling in her brain is improving, but she's still in real danger. We could handle that easily enough, but we're struggling to maintain and restore many of her implants, which, as you know, support the function of most of her major organs."

"Primarily they're a supplemental nervous system," Miranda added. "Were the implants damaged? What happened to her?"

"Massive blunt force trauma. The medic notes indicate there was a cave-in or an explosion of some kind, that she may have fallen from a great height, but we won't know until she can tell us." The man shrugged. "Regarding the implants, I haven't seen them myself, but my understanding is they're not damaged in an _obvious_ way, though a few were destroyed by the physical injuries she sustained. Her right femur was obviously reinforced by your work, but that's ruined because of the fracture to the bone there. The rest – the most critical ones - just aren't that cut and dry."

"What do you think is happening?" she asked.

"Is she part-cybernetic, Ms. Lawson?"

Miranda looked dumbstruck. "What? No, not at all! She _does_ have something similar to a cybernetic system in her spine, it was designed to compensate for the severed portions, but it's entirely integrated. She's as human as you or I."

"How did you integrate them?" he queried.

"It's akin to a patch in a road, really, minuscule leads tethered to the individual receptors," she explained. "The concept is based on the L4 implants."

"Ah! So the connection is hardwired into her nervous system, but not _into_ the brain?"

"Exactly. I realize that while the design of the L5 implants are far superior in capacity, she's not a biotic, and we needed something less complex in its structure. We didn't want to alter her physique any more than was necessary, so we created a schematic from the L4 platform. Nothing was wired into her brain directly, nor the stem."

"Remarkable."

"Much to our surprise, her brain was in remarkably good physical condition when her body was recovered," Miranda explained. "Once she was resuscitated, it transmitted and received signals with little difficulty. I still think that's the main reason Project Lazarus was a success."

The doctor nodded and drew a breath to ask another question, but Miranda interrupted. "Look, I'm guessing that they sent you down here to check me out, and while I'd love to play "Twenty Questions", I think you know I am who I say I am. Now, if Shepard needs my help, then let me see her, let me read the reports."

Dr. Ledeaux shifted his stance and shrugged. "We do need your help, but that's not a decision I get to make."

"Then take me to whoever can make the decision, Doctor. Please, she's my friend."

Dr. Ledeaux smiled softly. "Okay. Come on with me, I'll take you upstairs."

**xXx**

There were more voices today than yesterday, and one she felt she knew, but wasn't sure how. It was familiar and confident, and it made her feel calmer.

She was dreaming more. The fog was not as hard to navigate as it had been, and a part of her comprehended that it had some predictability to it. She knew she wasn't dead, so she wondered if the fog was due to her injuries or a treatment for them.

She missed him greatly, he came to her when she dreamt, and so did some of the others. She worried she only saw them because they were dead, mere ghosts haunting her memories. The pain of those feelings was overwhelming to her.

She hated her endless confusion and wished she could open her eyes. But today, hearing the voice she somehow knew would help her, she was better.

**xXx**

"Hey, Joker, how are you holding up?" Traynor asked as she walked into the cockpit.

Joker had been quiet since the Normandy had gone down, and everyone knew that the loss of EDI was hard for their pilot.

Traynor had been watching her friend carefully, aware that he was struggling, but with the intense hours of repair and endless streams of data to dissect, she'd not been able to visit him one-on-one.

"Fine, Traynor. What brings you up here?" he asked casually, glancing over his shoulder at her before punching at a few keys.

She debated what to say, how to start, but she realized that EDI, who'd understood him best, would have just jumped right in, and so, she did. "Ah, well, EDI, actually. I didn't get to ask you how you were doing, to…"

"I'm good, Traynor, thanks," he said tersely.

Sighing, she sank into the vacant seat to his left, not daring to take the seat at EDI's former post. "Joker, look, you and I both know that you're probably _not_ good. She _was_ your girlfriend, and I know you cared a great deal for her," she said gently.

"She was a _ship_ , Traynor, alright?"

She scoffed. "The hell she was! She was _so_ much more than that, Jeff, so cut the crap with me, okay?" she said bluntly. "I know you love to do the irreverent humor bit, but there's no one else here, and I'm a friend. So I'll ask you again: are you alright?"

Joker's lips pursed and he didn't meet her eyes; instead, he resumed tapping at his console. A few minutes of silence later, the young specialist sighed and hauled her small frame out of the seat to go. She'd almost reached the door when Joker finally spoke.

"How the hell do you think I'm doing? Honest to God, why would you ask such a stupid question in the first place?" he yelled.

He swiveled his pilot's seat around to face her.

"I don't _want_ to talk about it, and I don't want _you_ , or anybody goddamn else to console me, _okay_? She knew like the rest of us that she might die in that fight, and she was scared, but she still _wanted_ to fight! How many missions did she go on, like, what, ten? Twenty?"

"Jeff…"

"So, ya know, that's it! It's not complicated; we all knew what we were getting into! She's dead, okay, and for now…for now I don't want to talk about it," he said, his voice cracking as his words trailed off. He drew a ragged breath and adjusted his hat before he spoke again. "But I get you're trying to help, and I…I appreciate that. Now, let me fly, okay?"

The young woman walked up behind his chair and very gently squeezed his shoulder. "Okay," she agreed and quietly left the cockpit, the doors softly closing after her.

Joker swallowed the lump in his throat and opened another screen, working at it before returning to the main helm control. "Just let me fly," he whispered, trying to keep the tears at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Lisa, for your amazing beta help!  
> Thank you to Michele for her help with characterizations and canon!


	3. To Those Who Went Before Us

**To Those Who Went Before Us**

The Normandy hit the rim of the Sol system exactly ten days after word had been received word that the commander was alive.

And so far, according to reports, she still was.

Kaidan paced as he waited inside the War Room; he was slated to speak with Admiral Hackett via vid-com in the next few minutes. He expected to receive a significant update on all manner of things, but his heart was pounding with anxiety, knowing he would finally get to talk about Shepard.

"Hold on, Kate. I'm nearly there," he whispered.

Traynor came over the loudspeaker and announced Hackett was ready, and Kaidan rapidly initiated the connection.

"Sir!" the major said, snapping into a salute.

"At ease, Major Alenko," Hackett replied, returning the salute. "How is the Normandy and her crew?"

"We're good, sir. We lost EDI once the pulse reached us, and the repairs for basic flight were lengthy, but she's flying and doing so well. She's going to need a complete overhaul, though, sir. Most systems were crippled when EDI went offline."

"Any casualties?"

"None, sir, except for EDI."

"Near as we can tell, the pulse from the Crucible terminated all synthetics out there, the Geth included," Hackett offered in explanation. "I'm sorry about EDI, she was a real asset, but I'm glad to hear there was no loss of life. The galaxy's in a real state, but nothing we don't think we can't recover from."

"The Citadel, sir?"

Hackett nodded. "Is in a low orbit over Earth and easily reached by shuttle. We've got control of it and have recovered Mars and Luna."

"Excellent news, sir," Kaidan said stiffly before he cleared his throat. "Sir, is, uh, is there any word?"

"She's okay," the admiral said gently. "She's at Reykjavik Station, in the I.C.U. burn ward there, and she's stable. Miranda Lawson showed up out of the blue, nearly two weeks ago, and she's helped the staff tremendously with Shepard's recovery. She's still got a long road ahead of her, but I'm happy to tell you that she _will_ be okay."

The major visibly sagged and the older man smiled kindly. "Indulge my curiosity, Major. Just how long _have_ you and the commander been together? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Kaidan looked up and blinked several times before he finally answered. "Well sir, long enough that a few regulations got broken along the way."

Hackett chuckled. "I thought so. David and I spoke of it once, and we speculated on whether or not it started before or after chasing down Saren. He told me he saw something there before he handed the Normandy over," he admitted. "He worried that your feelings might cast a shadow your duties. But I wasn't that concerned, especially once she finally left Cerberus."

"Those were hard times, Admiral."

"I expect they were," the other man admitted. "Still, I didn't want to interfere. You're both good officers, and I knew what you two were up against. That's why I sent on her medical updates; I figured you had a dog or two in this fight."

"I do, sir, and thank you."

"For the record, a superior officer should tell you that there's a reason the Alliance has all those regulations in place, that the chain of command must be respected, and, that you and the commander acted recklessly, etc., etc.," he said with a slight smirk. "But as you're no longer her subordinate, and hell, you all did just save most of the known universe from annihilation; I think it's fair to say you've both earned a pass."

It was Kaidan's turn to laugh. "Well, thanks, sir. That's good of you," he said lightheartedly.

"Can I assume you'll be asking for some leave?"

The major nodded. "Yes, sir, I will. A lot of it."

"Approved. My reports from Lieutenant Moreau have you at about thirty hours out, is that still accurate?" the admiral asked, picking up a data pad as he did. "If that's right, then I want you to put the Normandy in at the temporary station over Mars, and take a shuttle from there. My XO will work with Lieutenant Vega about how to reassign your crew as we figure out what's next for them. Are you comfortable with that?"

"Yes, Vega is very competent, and he's more than up to the challenge," Kaidan replied. "He's functioned as the temporary XO up to this point, and unless you'd prefer it otherwise, he's willing to take the position on indefinitely."

"No objections, Major, but keep in mind he's still more soldier than paper-pusher. Assign Specialist Traynor as his aid, and make sure you get her solid support, especially if you're going to be out of the chain of command for a time."

"Will do."

"Good. Then I think we're through with official business," Hackett said, laying the pad back down. "One last thing, Major. I've seen Shepard a few times, and you need to prepare yourself. She's badly burned, and her appearance is still distorted from the facial fractures. She's got a lot of tubes and wiring attached to her. She's not readily recognizable."

Kaidan's lips drew into a grim line, but he nodded. "Yes, sir, I know. I was field trained as a medic, so I know from the reports what to expect."

"Kaidan, it's different when it's someone you care about," the admiral said gently. "Just…don't underestimate how bad she's going to look, alright?"

"Thank you, sir," the major said. "Oh, and sir? Any word on her mother?"

"Hannah didn't make it through the battle; her ship and crew went down over Luna."

The major sighed, knowing how devastated Shepard would be when she eventually learned the news. "I'm sorry to hear that. The captain had a reputation as a strong leader."

"She was, and was a personal friend of mine as well. I know this will be hard on the commander," Hackett noted sadly. "Unfortunately, her pain isn't unique. We all lost someone during this god-awful war, and some lost more than others."

Kaidan remained silent, thinking of his own family, their whereabouts still unknown.

Hackett cleared his throat. "But those days are finally over, and there's a lot of work to be done."

"Yes, sir, and we're eager to get started. We all want our lives back."

"Agreed. Welcome home, Major. Please express my gratitude to your crew for their amazing work," Hackett said, returning to a more formal tone. "Make sure they know how much we appreciate everything they've done. It'll take some time for the Alliance to get itself together well enough to start handing out medals, so please, tell them job very well done. The whole galaxy is in their debt."

"Yes, sir."

"Anything further, Major?"

"No, sir."

"Excellent. Put in at Mars, head to Earth. Make sure Vega can find you. Hackett out."

The vid-com signal faded and dropped.

**xXx**

Miranda studied the latest reports from the labs, her legs tucked comfortably under her as she sat on the couch in the doctor's lounge.

The latest blood work for Shepard looked very promising. Her white blood cell count was approaching a less threatening range, meaning her body was starting to soundly defeat the infection brought on by the large amounts of exposed tissue, a result of her extensive burns.

Her skin-grafts were a success, and the accelerated cellular treatments meant that she'd already regenerated nearly eighty percent of the skin lost. In a few more weeks, she'd be fully recovered from her burns, though meticulous care would need to be given to the new and tender skin.

Her face was healing very nicely, the reconstruction of her nasal and ocular bone completed nearly a week ago. Aside from the need to remove a small drain tube by her ear - in place to reduce inflammation - her facial surgeries were finished. Once the swelling was gone, she'd look very much as she had before her injuries.

The electroencephalography, more commonly known as an EEG, indicated Shepard was demonstrating a normal amount of spontaneous brain activity, and that was a very good sign indeed.

If the diagnostic of her spinal implants was anywhere near as positive as the rest of the findings, her friend's recovery would be secured.

A good deal of her other injuries, such as her broken leg, elbow, and hand, were addressed within the first twenty-four hours of her hospitalization. Leaving broken bones, especially breaks that weren't 'clean' would have exposed her to serious illness, and so those injuries had made real progress as well.

Once Shepard was awakened, which in Miranda's opinion, needed to be done as soon as possible, the commander would need to begin an extensive course of physical therapy, as well as other therapies.

All in all though, things were coming along quite nicely.

Dr. Karen Holder entered the lounge, and made a bee line for Miranda. The short and squat blonde woman was the chief of staff, a brilliant surgeon and Alliance to her core. Miranda shifted so she was seated in a less casual manner, and greeted the doctor.

"Good morning, Dr. Holder."

"Good morning, Miranda," she replied stiffly. "Have you seen the latest on the commander?"

"I have," Miranda replied. "Everything is looking better than we could have hoped for."

"It is, which in itself is a miracle," Holder replied. "I'm still astonished at how far she's come."

"It's _hardly_ a miracle, Doctor, it's sound medical science," Miranda countered. "We should wake her. It's safe now, and we need to complete a full assessment of her mental abilities."

Dr. Holder nodded. "I agree it's the next reasonable step in her recovery, but we're giving it a little more time. Hackett's requested we wait."

"Admiral Hackett is _not_ a doctor, nor is he a scientist. He shouldn't be participating in this type of decision."

"No, he's not, and normally I'd have reminded him of such, but keeping her under for another few days won't harm her," Holder reasoned. "Apparently someone's coming in from her crew, and Hackett wants him here with her when we bring her out of her coma."

"Him?" Miranda arched an eyebrow. "Did they say whom?"

The doctor glanced down at a data pad. "Major Kaidan…"

"Alenko," Miranda finished for her, nodding again. She looked thoughtful before she sighed. "Well, I hate waiting, but yes, Hackett's right in this case. I'm glad for Shepard's sake to hear the major made it through. They've been involved for some time and if there's any face she should see first, it's his."

"I agree, especially as we've no idea what happened to her up there," the doctor noted sadly. "It's impossible to know what her state of mind was when she lost consciousness. It's not unlikely that she'll awaken believing she's still on the Citadel."

"Alenko will be very good for her. If she's distressed he may be a real help when we do bring her out."

Holder shrugged. "Let's hope so. I also advised Hackett that the Alliance can now announce the commander is alive and stable. It'll be quite the frenzy around here once that's public." The doctor pulled a data pad from a stack she was holding.

Miranda sighed, not looking forward to the chaos the announcement would likely bring.

"That being said, I've altered your orders for Shepard's diagnostics. We're expecting the major late tonight, so we'll wait until tomorrow afternoon at the very earliest to rouse her." Holder passed Miranda another pad. "Before then, we'll need a full work up on the spinal cybernetics one last time. And I've ordered cardiology to get their latest readings in to you by tomorrow morning."

"Good. Tomorrow will be a very big day for all of us."

Holder nodded before she turned to go. She was only a step away before pausing, a look of curiosity on her face. "I wasn't going to ask, but I find I can't contain my interest."

Miranda set aside the data pads. "Alright. Please, Doctor, ask away."

"What was it like…before? Waking Shepard up? Was she confused? Was she coherent right away, ask questions, or did she just accept things?"

"The commander was awakened nearly a month before I'd intended," Miranda replied. "Our labs were under attack, and I literally roused her via the PA system. We'd been weaning her off her sedation medication for some time before then, as we have been here, but that was the first time she'd been fully conscious."

"I remember you saying so, but I'm wondering how she _was_? I'm trying to gauge things, to anticipate how it'll go. Did she need time to regain her faculties? Was she confused or slow?"

"No, actually she did remarkably well, given the scenario she woke to. She didn't readily accept the truth of what had occurred to her, and yes, once able to ask them, she had a great deal of questions, the first of which, if I recall correctly, was the whereabouts of Major Alenko."

"Well, if that's her first question this time around she'll have her answer right away, won't she?" the blonde said with small smile. "Of course, I realize her prior experience may have no impact whatsoever on how she'll respond tomorrow. It's an entirely different situation and she's not going to be roused by a battle."

"Well, that's true. Shepard is unique, though," Miranda explained. "She's got this determination, a deep sense of duty…I think the phrase is 'steel in her spine'. I expect that she'll be eager to recover and get back to her ship."

"Even after all of this?"

"Yes. There're going to be too many who need help here on Earth and across the galaxy. Shepard won't be able to resist helping, she can't bloody help herself."

Dr. Holder chuckled. "Yes, I've heard that about her."

"But thinking on it, I've realized we were both wrong earlier."

"About?" Holder asked.

"It was neither a miracle nor science that made her survival possible."

"Then what was it, Miranda?"

The dark haired woman smiled slightly. "It's because she's Shepard."

**xXx**

The lounge was crowded, the last of the enlisted crew loudly clearing out for the weekly officer's poker game, some calling good-naturedly over their shoulders who they felt would win, and how large the pot would get.

Once they'd gone, the door whooshing shut softly, the noise lessened and everyone settled in.

"I didn't tell you all that my sources confirmed that Captain Shepard died in the battle for Earth," Liara announced solemnly, drawing the attention of her friends.

They were all present; none of the command of the Normandy would have missed their last night. They were only five hours out from Mars and each was acutely aware that things were going to change once they arrived. The needs of the Alliance meant that many of them would immediately be reassigned to more critical positions, at least while the Normandy was being repaired and made ready for full duty.

James had commented to Traynor when they'd been in the elevator that it felt kind of like the night before graduation. They were all eager to go after whatever came next, but none of them wanted to say good-bye.

"Hackett told me yesterday," Kaidan replied, answering Liara. "I didn't want to say anything to anyone because Kate doesn't know."

"Man, that just really sucks," James sighed. "Like the commander hasn't given enough and now this?"

"Damn, Shepard's going to take it real hard," Garrus observed sadly.

"Were they close?" Cortez asked. "Not that it makes it any easier if they weren't."

Kaidan rubbed his temples with his fingertips. "Yeah, they were," he said, and then threw the contents of his shot glass back. "Damn, I wish to hell we'd get there already!" he confessed in frustration. "Guys, I'm sorry, but my heart's just not in this; I'm too antsy. Deal me out, okay?"

Kaidan tossed down his cards and James collected them, shuffling them back into the deck.

"Pass 'em in, boys and girls," James ordered. "Re-deal."

Joker handed his cards over to James. "That's it then, isn't it? We're all basically war orphans now, aren't we?" the pilot asked.

"Not _all_ of us," Liara said pointedly, arching an eyebrow at Joker, and discreetly gesturing to Alenko.

"Sorry, man."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Joker. You lost your family, we've all lost someone we cared about in this mess," Kaidan answered sincerely. "We've been through the wringer; each of us has paid a heavy price to be sitting around this table."

"Damn straight, Major," James agreed.

Garrus sat forward. "Don't give up hope, Kaidan. I didn't, and assuming it doesn't take me thirty years to get home, last I heard, I've got a sister and father to go home to."

"They've set up a series of check-points across the planet," Tali began, her fingers drumming on the felt tabletop.

"Earth or Mars?" James asked, dealing the cards to those that would be playing.

"Earth," she replied, peeking at the hand she'd been dealt. "Though I would guess there will be some sort of coordination with the other worlds and governments as well."

"What are the check-points for?" Garrus asked.

"For people to register as survivors, or to report those who are missing," Tali explained. "I was thinking that would be a good thing for you to do, Kaidan."

The major glanced up from his glass. "Yeah."

"Did you hear anything about your parents before the last push, Alenko?" Garrus asked, sipping from his tall cocktail.

"No, nothing yet, but Dad served for a while, and the cabin's in interior British Columbia. They were en route when the Reapers hit," Kaidan explained. "I'm just hoping they got enough of a head start, you know?"

"We all share your hopes, Kaidan." Liara sighed heavily, standing across the small room at the bar.

"Did the admiral have any more news about the commander, Major?" Traynor inquired.

"Nothing too different or I'd have shared it. Like the reports read, she's stable but still in I.C.U. Miranda Lawson offered her aid, and apparently, she's really helped things along," Kaidan answered. "Kate's doing a lot better."

"Thank the goddesses," Liara breathed.

"Miranda?" Joker repeated. "She's seriously uptight, but she's rebuilt Shepard before, right? Should be a cake walk for her, second time around."

"They're keeping her in a coma until the last of her spine is repaired and the skin grafts are finished," Kaidan explained. "But if she keeps responding to the burn therapy, and they can keep her white blood cell count down, they'll wake her up pretty soon."

"How's her head?" Tali asked. "Are they still concerned? She'll be…she'll be herself when they wake her, won't she?"

"That's probably not something we'd know 'til she's awake," Kaidan reasoned quietly. "But I _do_ know they're not as concerned as they were before, and I'd think that's a good sign."

Liara walked over from the bar, a tray balanced in her hands. On it was a shot glass of malt whiskey for each of them, and she carefully lowered the tray to the edge of the table, everyone taking their glass.

"I would agree with Kaidan's assessment," she said. "Now, as this may be our last chance to do so for some time, I'd like to offer a toast."

All lifted their small glasses and Liara began to speak.

"Hold on! Sorry!" Tali groaned, disappearing beneath the table, and quickly popping back up. "I dropped my induction port!"

James burst out laughing, Kaidan doing nothing to stop his own chuckles. Traynor grinned widely.

Tali gasped and pointed first at Kaidan and then at James. "She lied! Whatever Shepard told you was a lie!"

Joker, having retrieved the 'induction port', still in its sterile wrap, grinned widely as he held it aloft, and Tali quickly snatched it from his hand. "It's a called a _straw_ , ya know," he said saucily.

"I don't like you, any of you," Tali grumbled. James and Traynor each sniggered as Liara covered her grin with the back of her hand.

"Okay, guys, spill it! What's she talking about?" Cortez asked, looking between Joker and James.

"I'll tell you later, Esteban!"

"Nothing, Cortez, she's talking about absolutely nothing," Garrus chuckled as he reached out and brushed Tali's arm, holding her hand. "Hey now, you still like me, don't you? _I_ didn't say anything," he said sweetly.

"That's only 'cause she's got you wrapped," Joker teased.

"Well, if you'd seen what's under that suit, you'd know just _why_ that is," the Turian replied smoothly, laughing as Tali giggled and slugged him in his arm.

James grinned but loudly cleared his throat. "Alright kiddos, settle down. The lady was about to offer a toast."

The Asari bowed her head slightly to James. "Thank you, sir." She raised her glass and her voice. "To those who went before us, so that others may come after us."

The entire group sobered instantly, humbled by their friend's choice of words.

The Turian sniper stood and held his glass high. "Thane Krios."

"To Anderson, and to Ash," Kaidan said, coming to his feet.

"EDI," Joker offered quietly.

"And my mother," Liara whispered.

Tali stood. "To Legion, and to the Geth."

James also got to his feet. "But _not,_ I repeat, _not_ to the commander."

"Damn right, James," Garrus said as Kaidan gently smiled, nodding.

"Saludo!" the large soldier yelled, and then downed his shot, the others immediately following suit.

Kaidan looked at the bottom of his empty glass and again wished he was already on Earth. "Not much longer," he muttered softly, hope in his voice. "Not much longer."

_**Thank you, Lisa, for your lickety split beta! She's amazing, y'all, and a heck of a decorator too!**_


	4. Light At The End Of The Tunnel

**Light at the End of the Tunnel**

The Normandy made dock on schedule, her efficient crew ready to coordinate with ground control. Kaidan practically ran up the walkway from the Normandy into the Alliance terminal, but not before several of the ship's crew met him at the airlock, offering their good wishes for him and to their commander.

The terminal was in complete disarray, a large portion of it only usable due to barrier shields erected and expanded between the massive gaps in the walls and ceilings. The place was packed with throngs of refugees and displaced non-Alliance military, and those individuals, Kaidan noticed, had begun to set up make-shift barracks in the less vital parts of the station.

When Hackett had ordered them to put in at Mars, Joker and Kaidan had assumed he'd meant Mars Station, but at arrival, they'd been re-routed to this remote location. Joker hadn't questioned the orders, but had been surprised at the change.

Looking at the condition of this facility, Kaidan found himself wondering if the larger outposts, like the Archives and Mars Station, still existed at all, as they would surely have drawn more focus from enemy forces. Perhaps the Normandy had put in at the only location she could.

It was a morose thought, especially considering the size of the different cities on Mars, but something, he realized, he'd better start to wrap his head around. Earth, when he'd last set foot on it, had been nothing better than a smoking crater, and the casualties on Earth alone were estimated at half a billion.

As staggering as it was to consider, he knew it was something his head could easily get lost in, and so pushed aside that train of thought, choosing instead to focus on more positive things.

The biggest of which was Kate being alive and he was only a few hours from seeing her.

He found his way to the ramshackle flight control office and, while attempting to book a shuttle, learned from the liaison officer that Hackett had made arrangements for him to share one with two other officers who were also Earth-bound, and that the admiral had listed their flight as a priority departure.

In theory it should have helped Kaidan leave for home far more quickly than reality was allowing. Priority or not, there just weren't enough shuttles available, and until one was, he was stuck waiting in the officers' lounge. He contacted the Normandy to update Vega on his location, and, grabbing a snack, got comfortable.

His travel mates were decent enough company. A newly promoted captain who was en route to London and a commander headed to Vancouver. Both men had been to Earth at least once since the Reapers had been destroyed, and both men had good news to report.

Kaidan began to feel hopeful about the reconstruction that was beginning: the commander was returning to oversee a massive shelter and resources facility, while the captain would be in charge of coordinating displaced survivors.

The conversations going on around Kaidan were almost exclusively about the heroics of the last battle or the recovery that had already begun. Kate and the crew of the Normandy were mentioned more than once and he felt a surge of pride at all they'd accomplished.

The Reapers were gone, and they still cast very long shadows, but Kaidan couldn't ignore the positive mood of the people who surrounded him.

He smiled, thinking that Kate would be right along with them, planning and scheming ways to help more refugees, reach more survivors and save more lives. He sat back and sighed, realizing he was looking forward to telling her she'd saved the day.

Well, more than just the day, he thought. _Way more_.

He again considered Hackett's warning about her appearance and wondered how she was doing. He knew the details of her injuries but still blanched when he considered what must have caused them all.

Someday, maybe, he'd forgive himself for not being by her side when she'd received them.

He closed his eyes for a moment and could still see her bloodied face; the tears in her eyes as they'd kissed for what they'd each thought was the last time and then ordered Garrus to drag him from the battlefield. She'd known he was gravely injured but he hadn't cared, and if Garrus hadn't been there to stop him, he would have crawled back to the beam and followed her up to the Citadel.

But she'd been right.

He'd have died up there, weak and injured, and possibly putting her in grave danger as well. She would have tried to protect him and who knows what that would have cost the mission.

Knowing what he did at this moment, he realized had she not forced him from the fighting, she'd now be facing a future without _him_. He remembered all too well what that particular emotion felt like, and regardless of hating having to let her go alone that day, he realized he should be grateful she had.

Now if he could just stop having nightmares about it, he'd be ahead of the game.

"Captain Montgomery? Major Alenko?" called a young ensign from across the lounge.

Kaidan stood and took one last sip of his energy drink, raising his hand to acknowledge her as he did. The captain and commander also got to their feet.

"Sirs? If you're ready, we've got a shuttle and should be departing shortly. Bay 3B," she announced.

The three followed her out and down a quiet hallway, where she led them to a door and pulled it open for them. "Have a safe flight, gentlemen."

Kaidan paused, recognizing the shuttle as one of the two Kodiak's from the Normandy. Boarding it, he was pleasantly surprised to see Steve Cortez in the pilot's seat.

"Hey, Lieutenant," Kaidan said. "Uh, fancy meeting you here?"

Cortez turned and chuckled. "Hey, Major! Yeah, we've got to stop running into each other this way, huh?" the skilled pilot joked. "Well, we heard you were just sitting around waiting for a shuttle when Joker pointed out we had two perfectly good shuttles in the bay of the Normandy. We thought this was a decent solution."

Kaidan grinned. "It is, and thanks."

"No worries, sir. We'll get down to Earth in no time and I'll bring this tough old girl," he patted his console affectionately, "back home before anyone even notices we were gone."

Cortez stood and Kaidan introduced him to the other two passengers, and Cortez punched their destinations into the navigational computer.

"Hope you fellas don't mind if I drop the major at his destination first, it's priority," Cortez said from over his shoulder. "It's only a few minutes from Reykjavik to London anyway."

"Not at all," Captain Montgomery replied with an amiable smile. "It's _his_ shuttle, after all. We just appreciate the Normandy sharing it and allowing us tag along."

"Gentlemen, please find your seats," Cortez called out. "We've got tower clearance and it's time to go. We'll be in orbit in less than two hours."

Kaidan sat and buckled his safety belt, and then rested his head on the hull, closing his eyes. He was almost there.

**xXx**

It was dark, well past ten o'clock, when Cortez dropped Kaidan at the shuttle pad at Reykjavik Medical Center. It was snowing, but not heavily, and Kaidan made his way into the building.

The center was huge, but a majority of it had been closed down for years, the upgrades it needed to stay relevant lost to budget cuts. He realized its irrelevancy was probably why it was still mostly intact, even after the Reapers occupied Earth.

Traynor said the Alliance moved a large share of its medical resources to this location once the Reapers had left, being the only place still standing that was large enough to house over a thousand patients at once. The move allowed the hospital ships in the fleet to return to treating patients in more remote locations, while simultaneously taking a heavy burden off of the Fleet.

He entered the main lobby and went to the front desk where he identified himself to the clerk on duty. The woman entered his name into the computer and uttered a quiet, "Oh," before she picked up a communicator and spoke softly into it.

"It'll just be a few minutes, Major. Please, wait here," she requested.

He complied and put down his travel bag, resting his hip against the side of the desk. He sighed, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. He was having a very hard time not fidgeting and wished whoever was coming for him would hurry up.

And then he spotted Miranda.

He picked up his bag and moved in her direction, meeting her in the middle of the lobby.

"Miranda, hey, it's good to see you again," he said quickly. "How is she?"

Miranda offered a tight smile. "Alenko, always a pleasure," she replied. "She's doing well. Come with me, we'll get you the security badge you'll need for the floor she's on."

She turned and walked to the elevator. He followed and she swiped her omni-tool near a small panel, allowing her to open the doors and punch in the floor they needed.

"I expect you've got a lot of questions," she began.

"I do, but I've been keeping current on her condition with the different reports," he explained. "The biggest question you've already answered though, she's alive and healing."

Miranda nodded and didn't say anything more.

"Miranda? Do you know what happened to her up there?"

The brunette sighed. "No, we don't have a clue. I know the Hammer team that found her submitted dozens of reports from their trip, but no one's willing to show them to me," she answered. "But, if everything goes well in her next series of test results, we'll be waking her up tomorrow. Shepard will be able to tell us soon enough."

"Tomorrow? Is she…is she ready? What about the swelling in her brain? Is it safe to…"

"Major, I promise you, this isn't a decision that's been made quickly," she explained "We've been prepping her for over a week now, and she really is doing remarkably well. For her to continue to progress, she'll need to be awake and participating in her care."

"So you're talking about, what, physical therapy?"

"That, along with making sure there're no mental deficits. The brain swelling is resolved, and there's no longer any benefit to keeping her in the coma," she reasoned. "We can't further gauge her health without her input. It's time."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm not questioning you, I mean, I _know_ this is the plan, and I get that, it's just…well, it seems so fast, you know? I feel like I just got the report she was alive but barely, and now I finally get here and she's ready to wake up and P.T. it."

Miranda smiled softly. "I understand, but it _has_ been over a month since they found her, so it's not as fast as it feels. Look at it this way - for every minute you've been trying to get here, we've been diligently helping her. Between the extremely talented staff sent to help her, and my past experience with her implants, things have come together very well."

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened, Miranda stepping off first and leading him down a hallway. She quickly introduced him to the security officer there, who, after taking his details, quickly asked him for his omni-tool link. He provided it and it glowed instantly, the officer uploading the security file to it.

"You'll need that to use the elevator and to be unescorted on this floor," the security guard explained. "It also grants you access to the doctors' lounge and kitchen, as well as the dormitory at the far end of the floor."

"Thanks," he replied, tapping the tool and saving the information to his quick access files.

They stepped away from the desk, Miranda gesturing for him to walk with her.

"Let's put your bag in the dorm room first, then I'll take you to see Shepard," she said. "I know it seems a tad excessive, all this security, but the Alliance is being very protective of her. They're worried about someone who's indoctrinated getting to her," she explained. "I think there are still genuine concerns the Reapers aren't truly gone."

"So, is that why they're putting me in the dormitory here?"

"Partially, yes, but it's also to keep the press, what little there is, from noticing you're here," she answered. "Admiral Hackett is going to wait until we wake her tomorrow, but chances are, he'll be announcing Shepard's survival shortly thereafter. We felt it would be best for you to not have to contend with the excitement that's sure to follow."

She paused at the end of the hallway, opening a door with her omni-tool.

"Do you really think, what with all the destruction and the work to be done, that folks are going to show up here?" he asked, surprised at the notion.

"Yes, we do," she replied. "She's a hero, a beacon of hope for a lot of people. I think it's going to be a very big deal once the announcement is made." She gestured to a small bed and nightstand set up in a segregated corner of the room. "That armoire over there is open for you to use, and this will be your bed. Would you like to freshen up?"

"I'd like to see Kate, now."

"Come on, then."

They walked in silence back the way they'd come and then up a corridor that was new to Kaidan. They reached a corner and he spotted a brightly lit room at it, the blinds in the glass walls enclosing it, closed. There were 'Universal Precautions' notices posted on each sheet of glass, and a large data board with basic information showing.

He pointed to the signs. "Do you need me to get into scrubs and a mask?"

She shook her head. "No, sorry, those should be down by now," she said, reaching out and taking one off. "Her burns are closed, so she's no longer got any exposed tissue to be concerned about," she explained. "Uh, Kaidan," she began, surprising him with the use of his given name.

"Yes?"

"I know you've had some medical training, and you've read her reports, but just a word of caution, alright? She's got some facial swelling and is still on a respirator, which she'll come off of tomorrow," she said quickly. "She's improved massively, all things considered, but for someone who's not seen her progress, she may look rather…"

"Rough? Yeah, I know," he replied in a low tone. "But thanks for wanting to warn me."

Miranda studied him for a moment and finally nodded. "Okay, I'll leave you for a bit. When I return, I'll have Doctor Holder with me. You'll need your pass to open her door."

With those final details, she left him standing outside of Shepard's hospital room.

He stared at the handle of the glass door for a breath or two and then quickly lit his omni-tool and waved it by the lock. The light on the door flitted from red to green and he opened it, stepping inside.

He felt the breath leave his chest as his eyes found her and he stood rigid.

Her red hair was closely shaved and a long, angry-looking incision ran from her crown to her right ear. That side of her face was distorted from swelling, her normally fine features lost beneath the puffy bruising. There were dozens of tiny cuts, all of which were nearly healed, across her face and neck and he noticed they traveled down her arms as well.

Her right arm was bandaged heavily and he recalled from the reports that both the wrist and elbow had been broken. He noticed that she had all five of her fingers there, miniscule stabilizer pins protruding from the end of the ring and pinky; fingers he knew were transplants or prosthetics.

The respirator tube was in her mouth, tape securing it in place and the rhythm of the machine the only disturbance to the silence in the room. There were leads running everywhere.

She looked tiny in the middle of the bed, small and battered.

He imagined what had happened to her and roughly scrubbed his face, struggling to control the need to yell or cry, he wasn't sure which. He closed his eyes and drew a ragged breath, and finally approached the bed.

He'd wondered, in the seemingly endless days it had taken to get here, if she'd be able to understand any of the things going on around her while she was in the coma, or if she was truly unaware of it all. He'd decided to talk with her as if she could hear him and pulled a chair over to the bed, settling down close to her and taking her left hand into his own.

Her hand was so warm and he caressed it in his large one. He loved her fingers, they were long and graceful and when she touched him…well, those had been some of the happiest times of his life. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the top of it softly.

"Hey, Shepard," he said quietly. "Kate? I'm here now. I'm sorry it took me so long," he rasped, watching her for any kind of response. "We made it to the rendezvous while you handled the big fight. I still can't quite stomach having to let you go that day."

He fell silent, his eyes on her.

"But, you were right," he forced a soft laugh. "You always are. I was pretty banged up. But it's over, and you did it. They're gone, Kate, the Reapers are gone, and you're safe and everyone's okay. And we're here…together. So, that makes pretty much everything else worth it, doesn't it?"

He heard the lock in the door click and glanced over to see Miranda and a few others enter the room. He began to stand, but a short blonde woman gestured for him to stay seated.

"Major Alenko, hello, I'm Doctor Karen Holder, Chief Medical Officer of the center and head of Commander Shepard's medical team here," said the woman. "We're very glad you're here."

"Thank you, ma'am," he replied professionally. "I'm happy to finally be with her."

"We don't want to keep you too long, we know you've only just arrived," Holder began. "But we wanted to go over the details of the commander's current status as well as explain the process for tomorrow. Ms. Lawson advised me that you're aware we intend to rouse her tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Squeezing Shepard's hand, Kaidan gave his attention over to her doctors, eager to understand what was coming and what Shepard would need from him.

**xXx**

Cortez dropped off the last passenger in Vancouver and laid in his course back to the small station on Mars.

His short trip had given him an opportunity to see how far reaching the devastation the Reapers had wrought on the human home world. To say it was staggering would be a gross understatement, and he sighed, sitting back in his chair, his heart heavy with what he'd seen.

The European continent was radically different. He'd noticed whole areas of land that would normally be lighting up the night sky were dark. Hundreds of miles of blackness had stretched out before him as he'd brought the shuttle into London. Landmarks he'd been trained to identify on-sight so many years ago, each designated to assist him should his aircraft ever have a navigational failure, were nowhere to be seen.

He remembered being a kid living someplace in the Midwest of America, his father assigned to some remote air station there, and a tornado had formed, wreaking havoc and carving a wicked path of ruin before the weather control systems had eliminated it.

An old man at the local grocery store had been talking with his dad about it a few days later, and he'd likened the twister to a 'finger of God', the way it had dug in and destroyed everything in its path. The buildings, homes and anything else on the ground had been smashed, blown away or obliterated. He'd never seen anything like it since.

Until today.

Today, what he saw looked like a thousand tornadoes had touched down at once, everywhere, and the devastation was astounding, like something from a movie, a very _bad_ movie.

He shook his head, thinking of the massive amount of rubble and wondered how things would ever be right again. There were millions dead, resources were at a minimum and without the Relays, he knew the majority of the Alliance Fleet could be weeks if not months away.

He punched up the extranet and watched what news he could find, listening to the depressing estimates about the loss of life, and wondered where and how the recovery could begin. He realized then that the duty to rebuild would not only fall on the shoulders of those who'd survived, but on the generations to come after as well.

Yet it _would_ get done, that much he knew. One thing he'd learned over the last year of fighting the Reapers was that there was still a lot of fight left in humanity, and that fight, that unyielding desire to go on, was universal. The Reapers may have decimated Earth, Thessia, Palivan and countless other home worlds but the peoples had survived.

The Reapers had not.

No matter what challenges the galaxy may be facing, the greatest one had been met and destroyed, so the truth was, the worst was already over. The trick would be to remember this, and to push through the rubble and the muck without fear.

He felt his mood lighten, considering that at one time, the defeat of the monstrous synthetic creatures had seemed as insurmountable as recovery now did. But they'd done it and the citizens of the galaxy had faced it together.

The leaders who'd carried humanity and the rest of the worlds through this war were still here, he thought, or, he remembered sadly, most of them were. Anderson's death would be a blow to things, but Admiral Hackett would be there to lead humanity through the next phase of things, as he had the war.

Maybe, just maybe, things weren't as bad as they felt.

But, he realized, the most reassuring thing of all was something only Cortez and select others knew, something that the rest of the Alliance, humanity, and the galaxy didn't yet know, but something that would change it all.

Shepard would be there, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Lisakodysam for her amazing beta and support! Thank you also to Michele for her help with characterizations and canon!


End file.
